Sophists: "I have good intentions. Stalin had good intentions. Pol Pot had good intentions. Hitler had good intentions. Everybody has good intentions. Politicians who make up lies to kill innocent people in the Middle East have good intentions."

Also sophists: "Good intentions and altruism are completely unnecessary."


Detective Alexander Drysdale

Detective Alexander Drysdale is a private investigator in the San Francisco Bay area. One afternoon, a gentleman by the name of Martin McFadden shows up in his office.

"Can I help you, sir?" Detective Drysdale asks Mr. McFadden.

"Your door says: 'Private Investigator and Red Balloon.' Does that mean you're a private investigator?"

"How did you know?"

"I saw an ad in the newspaper with your picture and the words 'Private Investigator and Red Balloon.' Is this you in the picture?"

"Yes, it is."

"You don't look like a red balloon."

"If I say I'm a red balloon, then I am a red balloon!" retorted Detective Drysdale vehemently.

"Alright, calm down. Let me introduce myself. My name is Mr. McFadden. I suspect my wife is planning to have an affair with her employer. I've seen pictures of the two kissing in public."

"Say no more. If what you need is hard evidence, you've come to the right place. What you do with that evidence is your own business."

Saturday. 13:30. Detective Drysdale has followed Mrs. McFadden's vehicle to Little Carlyle's flower shop.

"Yes, I see them," says Drysdale to a voice on the phone. "Yes, I have the equipment ready."

Detective Drysdale's dashboard camera is aimed at Mrs. McFadden as she exits her vehicle. He zooms in on her as a gentleman in a trench coat and hat approaches. The two embrace, lock lips, and walk off hand-in-hand. Detective Drysdale is yet to turn on his dashboard camera.

"Anything?" asks the voice on the phone.

"No, nothing that could be used as evidence. The two merely kissed and walked off together."

"Did you record it?"

"What would be the point? You can't determine... Wait, here they come again."

"What are they doing?"

"What? Sorry, I wasn't looking. I was adding cream to my coffee."

"Can you please try to concentrate?"

"How would you know I'm not trying?"

"Sorry, sorry. Just please get some evidence that my wife is planning to cheat on me."

"They're kissing again."

"Are you recording it?"

"What would be the point?"